Git 'em!!

The adventures of Felch and Turd Burglar, part 2

So last week in an attempt to make the army at least look better I finished painting the bolt throwers, and mounted them on bases, and started painting their crews.  I’ll save the bases and do them all at once.

With my extra hundred points this week I dropped the pump wagon, added a wolf rider, and upgrades Turd Burglar to a level four shaman lord, and gave Felch a 4+ ward save.

There were four of us.  Me, Patrick the High elf again, Donny the Chaos, and the Ogre Kingdoms player.  Someone rolled a die, and announced that I would get to pick my partner.  Based on the army lists I brought the High Elf army would be my best partner, but that’s just plain wrong.  The Chaos guy is nice enough, but he felt his army was driven by magic and would want all the dice.  So I picked the Ogres.

Again, someone rolled for the scenario when I wasn’t looking.  We got the “Meeting Engagement” scenario, and then won the setup dice roll.  So they had to place their entire army first.  Yeah us!  So they deployed.  Poorly.  All their units were bunched in the middle.  I guess they assumed that we would deploy right across from them and have at it.

Sadly they were right.  Before I could say anything my wonderful Ogre partner plops his three big units right across from them.  Now I’m stuck deploying there to.  Great.

You know there is this thing called tactics?  Had it been left it to me I would have deployed my units in the middle, way back, and used his units in a double encirclement.  Then when their ends units had to pivot, my wolf riders would have had a flank.  Instead I had the wolf rider on the flank and my night goblins holding the left end of our battle line right across from the phoenix guard with cheesy special character. Sigh.  As a bonus though with the diagonal deployment zones my bolt throwers were looking down their battle line from both sides. Yeah!  It could still work; I just think my way would have been easier.  They went first and did some really, really silly maneuvering.  They turned one unit of chaos knights to run down two of my bolt throwers (which they did and in the process took themselves out of the game until turn 4), and wheeled the other knight unit out to face my flanking wolf riders, but they hadn’t managed to cover the flank of the chaos knights on foot.

So they were going to lets us charge in the bottom of turn one.  OK? So the plan had been for the OK monstrous cavalry things to charge one unit of chaos knight, his iron guts with butcher to charge the foot knights in the front and my wolf riders to charge them in the side at the same time.  The night goblins were to move up and be threatening to the phoenix guard.

Then I failed the animosity test for the night goblins; since there was no other goblins nearby they had to charge the closest enemy unit.  The Phoenix guard. Really? Eh, that’s ok it’s a long way I needed a 10 on 2D6.  Rolled an 11.  Really? Sigh. Fine.  One fanatic hit them; the other didn’t, so I ran through it.  The wolf riders needed a 5 on 3D6 with taking the highest two. So of course I rolled 1,1,2.  They failed their charge! Really? Ugh. Fine. I see where this is going.  Played enough games with these guys to know how the rest of this game was going to go.

I had a good selection of spells; maybe they’d help in the magic phase.  Then my partner says hey, I’ve got this spell that would give us all 4+ regeneration!  I say that’d be cool, so he grabs ALL of our magic dice. Really? Face-palm.  Even with the regeneration the goblins lose by three.  Then run, and then get run down. The monster cavalry gets spacked, and disappears, and the iron guts die except for the butcher.  For all intents and purposes the game was over after the first turn. The Ogre Kingdom player didn’t care; he had to leave early anyway.  Really? You came to play knowing you only had 90 minutes?  That explains a lot.

Since Felch and Turd Burglar had regeneration going when the unit was run down, I’m going to assume that they lived.  This time.  No one there likes sharing the magic dice. I think next time I may not take a mage at all.  At least next week I’ll get another 100 points.