Cold War

Good evening, my fellow citizens:

This Home Owner Government, as promised, has maintained the closest surveillance of the Mouse Soviet military buildup in my Basement on the island of Cuba. Within the past week, unmistakable evidence has established the fact that a series of offensive holes missile sites is now in preparation on my stone foundation that imprisoned island. The purpose of these holes bases can be none other than to provide a vermin nuclear strike capability against my kitchen the Western Hemisphere.

I have been checking my kitchen for intruders since I declared mission accomplished.

While I have seen no “evidence” of kitchen raids; a quick look around the house has found:

Time for more concrete patch, and I think will start setting the traps outside and see what I get.

A Hill of Beans – Pinto, v2

So, last time, I wanted creamier beans and a redder appearance. 

I again started with four slices of bacon and used the kitchen shears to slice it into ribbons.  This time though I added diced onion (no shallot), a couple of clovers of garlic, and two Jalapeños. 

Instead of raw Chorizo I used smoked one that I diced into cubes.  Then I added half a can of diced tomatoes.  I got the creamier beans and redder appearance, and the second try was better than the first.  However, there is still room for improvement.

Next time, instead of the canned tomatoes to add acidity and color; I’ll paprika for color and some diced cherry tomatoes for acidity.  Also I need to find a better smoked Chorizo.  This one tasted more like pepperoni, which is ok, but I wanted more heat, and more flavor out of it.  This version was the consistency of baked beans, which is not what I wanted.  I may either mast half a can of beans, or I guess I could use some re-fried beans.  I want it kind of “pasty”. 

My First

On Open Letter to my first Weber Grill.

Why did you run away?  It’s been over ten years now since you left, and I still think about you sometimes.  It was the night before Father’s Day when you left.  Why did you go?  Did you like the houses across the street better than the apartment we were in?  Did you not like our neighbor, the gas grill?  I had such big plans for us on that Father’s Day.

It was painful, but I have moved on.  The grill I’m living with now is much more understanding.

After 10 years now we are still going strong, even after the warping grease fire that’s made it hard to get the grill properly placed.  Our relationship is so strong that we’ve had a small barrel grill and a smoker move in.  There isn’t even a hint of jealousy. 

Even so, after all these years I still think about you.  I guess you never forget your first.

Scooter-less

So the time has come and gone and the spot in the front yard that I thought was the 2011 rabbit nest was, in fact, empty.

Un-Americanized

I like Chinese food; however what we usually get here is Americanized Chinese food.  It’s not bad though I have had Overly-Americanized Chinese food which is nasty.  I have been looking for Un-Americanized Chinese food.  I once heard that a truly authentic Chinese restaurant typically only prepares one of the eight regional cuisines of china.   

I have finally found one near me house.  The Famous Szechuan Pavilion 

Its in what used to be a drive through coffee shop.  Ordering my food was difficult.  Though the owner/cook/waitress/busboy’s English was surely better than my Mandarin.  I got the Dan Dan Noodles.  When she asked it I wanted “Small or medium” I though she meant how big a bowl, you know, like a whole or half order kind of thing.  So I got the “medium” Portion size isn’t what she meant.  I found out what she meant was a small or medium spoonful of Sichuan pepper stuff.  My mouth was nice and numb after the first three or four bites.  I could still taste it, but the heat sort of disappeared.

So today at work my Chinese Cultural Consultant brought me:

Sichuan peanuts! 

Very tasty, and not mouth numbing!  The best part though was the back of the package.

I think that’s a great symbol for “CRAP THAT’S HOT!”

Randomness, Part II

Kansas

There’s no salad in Kansas.  Well, there is no good salad in Kansas.  Once, back in the 90s, when Sandy was in graduate school I got to go along as free labor for the field work portion of her thesis.  We were in Kansas to visit a salt mine in the lovely town of Salina (which rhymes with Vagina.  What?  You thought I’d say Regina?)  Anyway.  While we were there I once had gotten the “salad bar” with dinner.  It consisted of browning iceberg lettuce, some carrots, Bac-O bits, and ranch dressing.  Things have progressed, some, in the last 15 years.  We were in Kansas City recently and I managed to get this:

At least the Iceberg lettuce wasn’t brown – yet.  We weren’t there for the salad though.  We were there for The Great Wolf Lodge.  It’s a hotel with an indoor water park attached.

There was also miniature golf

What is the costume he is wearing you ask?  That’s part of the other attraction – Magi Quest. 

It’s an adventure game, with stations set up all around the hotel.  Basically is runs the kids around in circles all day.  We spent two nights, which was just about right.  Any longer and I think they would have started getting bored.

This was almost what I would call a vacation.  I got to spend some time sitting on my butt reading and generally doing nothing.  My favorite part may have been finding this on the way

Once, a long time ago I have vague memories of going on a vacation as a kid.  Every time we stopped for a meal, it was at Stuckey’s, but that’s a different story.