Dear America
When I was younger I used to really love your parties. There was swimming all day and soft-serve ice cream at the public pool. It was a day of grilled hot dogs and pie. The parades were full of fire trucks and scouts and marching bands and even shriners on their funny little motor bikes.
What happened?
Now the day is filled with cheap prepackaged ice cream at the carnival. You know, the carnival; the physical embodiment of your no longer hidden insatiable capitalist need, with hideously expensive rides and over priced BBQ. There are still hot dogs to be found, but you have to try to find them. The parades still have fire trucks, and scouts and marching bands, but they are mixed up with political action committees floats, and politician containing convertibles. The shriners may even still be there, but I can’t bring myself to watch them anymore.
It seems like I’m not the only one suffering birthday party burnout
Is that all that’s left? Rides and cheap toys. Please tell me there is more to your birthday than this?
I hope their memories of your recent birthday parties are better than mine…
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