LOL

Yesterday I played my first game of League of Legends against real people.  Our team won which was a bonus, but that’s not what made the game memorable.  It wasn’t that I beat opponents that were real people instead of a computer.  What made this special is that my team was me, Matthew, and a couple of his friends that I know (and they know me).  They all thought it was cool that I was playing.

My recollection of growing up is that if I wanted to spend time with my dad I basically got to tag along while he was doing what he wanted.  The most memorable moments were of us camping and fishing.  I liked the camping, I like being outside and away from everything.  The fishing I could have done without.

The last time I went fishing with my dad was the summer of 1996.  How do I know that?  Well we went to Truman Lake. It was hot.  Really hot. 100 degrees in a boat on a lake fishing is no fun what so ever.  We ended up coming in around lunch time, driving into Warsaw and catching a movie.  I’m glad we caught a movie since we hadn’t caught any fish.  Oh, the movie was “Twister”, and the following image is permanently burned in the “absurd” part of my brain.

Dad tried to be interested in the things I liked, and did try to participate, but it was obvious that he just wasn’t interested.   Not everybody likes historical war board games.  I still like them, but no one else I know does.

Matthew and his friends played the game, while talking on Skype.  I wasn’t hooked into that conversation, which I think is appropriate.  If they needed to talk to me either they sent a typed message via the game, or Matthew would yell from across the house.  Doing something with Matthew that he was interested in and being able to talk about it intelligently with him was something special to me.

Oops. I forgot to make him do his homework first.  Too bad: somethings are more important than homework.

Randomness, VI

Randomness, V

Spoiled Milk Grenade

More Scout Camping!  This time it’s summer camp, redux.

So I got back from mini webelos camp Tuesday night, and Wednesday morning headed straight for summer camp at S-F.  Having been through a summer camp already, I have to admit that I was looking forward to getting there this time.  Got there midday, and with the help of a couple of other adult leaders pitched a tent for myself and another late arriver.

Last year I ran myself ragged making sure that Matthew’s patrol made it everywhere they needed to.  One of the things we were blessed with this year was an abundance of adults.  We varied from 9-11 adults on site at any one time for a grand total of 17 scouts.  Since the older scouts didn’t really need much help or supervision we were able to spend our time with the first year scouts, and the second year ones too from time to time. 

Even though I didn’t run myself into the ground chasing the kids I kept busy.  The Scoutmaster delegated to me the task of helping those who wanted to get their cooking merit badge.  There were three takers, reluctantly including Matthew.  They had been given homework prior to summer camp and they had to discuss it with me when we were there.

The stew he made (yes at home, prior to going to camp) was really good, but it took him about 45 minutes to dice 6 potatoes.  He got a little OCD on making the pieces all the same size.

Three of the scouts finished what they needed.  Now that I’ve been through that once it’ll be easier next time.

Thursday night was parents’ night again.

Last year I skipped the Order of the Arrow “tap out” ceremony, as my feet were spent.  This year though, Matthew and five other boys were eligible along with me and one other adult.  Figured I ought to make it to this time.  The Order of the Arrow is the scouting national honor society.  It is for those who best exemplify the Scout Oath and Law in their daily lives.  Three of the boys, not including Matthew were selected.  So was I.  I’m sort of glad Matthew didn’t get selected, he just isn’t ready yet.  He still has moments were he is decidedly unhelpful.

The second year scouts figured out that if you hang a plastic bag off the rain fly you can save food in it that the raccoons can’t get.  I noticed one day that someone had put a milk carton in the bag.  When I fished t out it was so swollen I thought it was going to burst.  I could even partially smell it through the carton.   I was going to throw it away, but one of the second years said:

Hey, what’s that?

Uh, spoiled milk.

Really?  Can I open it?  I’ve never smelled spoiled milk.

That’s fine, but do it over there…

What a perfect example of scouting.  Being somewhere outside and doing things you wouldn’t normally do.  A wonderful new experience!  He went and rounded up several other boys, and they opened it.  You would have thought someone had set off a hand grenade with the way the scatted!  Based on the look on his face the kid who opened it really, really came close to puking.  He got some on his hands too and it must have taken him 15 minutes to wash it off.

This years’ butterfly

The last night we were there I got awakened in the middle of the night with a raccoon trying to get into my duffle bag.  My duffle bag was under my cot.  It woke me up by head butting me in the back so it could get on top of my bag.  All I had to do was roll over and it ran away.

We were the last group of the summer and in the end we had to take down the entire camp site.

Git 'em!!

The adventures of Felch and Turd Burglar, part 2

So last week in an attempt to make the army at least look better I finished painting the bolt throwers, and mounted them on bases, and started painting their crews.  I’ll save the bases and do them all at once.

With my extra hundred points this week I dropped the pump wagon, added a wolf rider, and upgrades Turd Burglar to a level four shaman lord, and gave Felch a 4+ ward save.

There were four of us.  Me, Patrick the High elf again, Donny the Chaos, and the Ogre Kingdoms player.  Someone rolled a die, and announced that I would get to pick my partner.  Based on the army lists I brought the High Elf army would be my best partner, but that’s just plain wrong.  The Chaos guy is nice enough, but he felt his army was driven by magic and would want all the dice.  So I picked the Ogres.

Again, someone rolled for the scenario when I wasn’t looking.  We got the “Meeting Engagement” scenario, and then won the setup dice roll.  So they had to place their entire army first.  Yeah us!  So they deployed.  Poorly.  All their units were bunched in the middle.  I guess they assumed that we would deploy right across from them and have at it.

Sadly they were right.  Before I could say anything my wonderful Ogre partner plops his three big units right across from them.  Now I’m stuck deploying there to.  Great.

You know there is this thing called tactics?  Had it been left it to me I would have deployed my units in the middle, way back, and used his units in a double encirclement.  Then when their ends units had to pivot, my wolf riders would have had a flank.  Instead I had the wolf rider on the flank and my night goblins holding the left end of our battle line right across from the phoenix guard with cheesy special character. Sigh.  As a bonus though with the diagonal deployment zones my bolt throwers were looking down their battle line from both sides. Yeah!  It could still work; I just think my way would have been easier.  They went first and did some really, really silly maneuvering.  They turned one unit of chaos knights to run down two of my bolt throwers (which they did and in the process took themselves out of the game until turn 4), and wheeled the other knight unit out to face my flanking wolf riders, but they hadn’t managed to cover the flank of the chaos knights on foot.

So they were going to lets us charge in the bottom of turn one.  OK? So the plan had been for the OK monstrous cavalry things to charge one unit of chaos knight, his iron guts with butcher to charge the foot knights in the front and my wolf riders to charge them in the side at the same time.  The night goblins were to move up and be threatening to the phoenix guard.

Then I failed the animosity test for the night goblins; since there was no other goblins nearby they had to charge the closest enemy unit.  The Phoenix guard. Really? Eh, that’s ok it’s a long way I needed a 10 on 2D6.  Rolled an 11.  Really? Sigh. Fine.  One fanatic hit them; the other didn’t, so I ran through it.  The wolf riders needed a 5 on 3D6 with taking the highest two. So of course I rolled 1,1,2.  They failed their charge! Really? Ugh. Fine. I see where this is going.  Played enough games with these guys to know how the rest of this game was going to go.

I had a good selection of spells; maybe they’d help in the magic phase.  Then my partner says hey, I’ve got this spell that would give us all 4+ regeneration!  I say that’d be cool, so he grabs ALL of our magic dice. Really? Face-palm.  Even with the regeneration the goblins lose by three.  Then run, and then get run down. The monster cavalry gets spacked, and disappears, and the iron guts die except for the butcher.  For all intents and purposes the game was over after the first turn. The Ogre Kingdom player didn’t care; he had to leave early anyway.  Really? You came to play knowing you only had 90 minutes?  That explains a lot.

Since Felch and Turd Burglar had regeneration going when the unit was run down, I’m going to assume that they lived.  This time.  No one there likes sharing the magic dice. I think next time I may not take a mage at all.  At least next week I’ll get another 100 points.

Skunks!

So this year I got to participate in mini-webelos camp.  A Sunday through Tuesday adventure that is in retrospect set up to prepare the boys for Boy Scout summer camp.  The camp site is set up using the same equipment as the Boy Scouts

The biggest difference being that they don’t cook for themselves.  Thankfully.

The schedules and activities are set up in a similar fashion

One other thing that amazed me was how crowded it was. 

I tried swimming on the first day, but there was so much chlorine in the pool that my skin reacted very badly to it.  I’d guess that there was enough chlorine that the public health department would have been upset, but from my perspective, it was better than the alternative of people possibly getting sick.

I was told that we were in the biggest group of the summer and that there we’re 350 or so cub scouts. 

350!

350 – 9 year old boys in one place is deserving of a reserved place in whichever level of hell includes total chaos.  I managed not to get a full picture of the dining hall, and have been trying not to remember it ever since.  350 kids and the associated adult leaders all eating in one place at the same time is… not something to dwell on.

On Monday the kids rolled out of bed at 520am, and lights out was 10pm.  It was kind of warm that day; the official high was 106. 

The kids all passed out which was a good thing for a couple of reasons.  The two troops that we shared our campsite with had adult leaders that made some puzzling choices.  One group moved their scouts’ cots out of the tents, and put them in rows under the rain fly.  I assume that it was because they thought it would be cooler.  Not fifteen minutes after all the kids fell asleep, while I was getting myself ready for bed a momma skunk and her kits were taking a late night stroll through our campsite, and walked directly under all of those cots that had sleeping kids on them.  How do I know that they were skunks? 

It was dark, so I walked a little closer get a better look, and was rewarded with a tail up, sideways dance by mom.  I have no idea how far a skunk can spray.  Thankfully I still don’t.

Then sometime in the wee hours of the morning we got our nightly raccoon visit.  Someone, not in our pack, left a can of cheese pringles out on a table.  I didn’t hear the raccoon open and start eating them, but when someone did and tried to shoo it off all it did was hiss at them.  Those were some tasty pringles!  When they went for the walking stick and started beating the table to run it off I was sitting up in my cot, hoping that none of the kids woke up.  They didn’t.  When the raccoon finally ran it went right around my tent.  It was likely no more than 3 feet from Jacobs head. 

Waaaagggghhhh

The adventures of Felch and Turd Burglar #1.

So Felch and Turd Burglar are the night goblin big boss and night goblin shaman respectively that have been leading my night goblin spearmen for the last 20 years.  The two of them have seen many gruesome deaths over the years, and on occasion have actually killed things.  They haven’t been outta the box since the 2005 Hillbilly, sadly that was the last game of Warhammer I had played, until last Sunday.

There is a new GW store not too far away that is doing an escalation league starting at 800 points.  Went and watched one weekend to see what the other players were like in general.    

Felch hadn’t ever been allowed to lead an army before, so I figured it was about time.  I dug through my figs and found his regular unit of 41 night goblins, full command, 2 fanatics, and this time I added netters, then rounded up 4 bolt throwers, a snotling pump wagon, and a unit of 15 wolf riders.

Someday I’ll actually finish painting them all, honest!

Got the store to find out that this week we going to be random partners week!  Oh, joy.  Got paired with a warriors of chaos army that consisted of a Tzeentch sorcerer, 5 knights, and two units of 12 warriors.  We got to play two high elfs.  One of the HEs had just bought the box and put the figs together.  He had never played before.  As an aside the total newb was Greg Dieckhouse.  I hadn’t seen Greg in the better part of twenty years.  If you have every play Star Fleet Battles and like Lyrans you’ll surely recognize his name.  Greg is a smart guy; once he gets some experience he’ll be really dangerous.  The other guy -really?  My first game in 7 years and I get a dice throwing, rules lawyering, high elf?

Really?

Whatever.

So I tried shooting various things with the bolt throwers the only thing I managed to hit was a unit of phoenix guard that had a special character in it.  That’s when I found out that the unit had a 4+ ward save. 

Really? Maybe these 8^th edition high elves aren’t so bad.

So I wanted to try to something different with the wolf rider since they get all the new fancy rules.  Used the vanguard special rule to run up the middle of the table.  They got shot to up badly by regular archers, had the survivors charge a unit of 12 archers with their mage in it.  After the stand and shoot only 7 made it into hand to hand.  Yes I knew they would get both ranks, and yes I knew that they had higher initiative, but no, I didn’t know about the “always strike first by the way I get to reroll my missed attacks nonsense”.   Stupid archers killed 5 more riders.  My champion’s wolf killed one, and then the boys ran.  I was going to remove them, but someone said that at under 25% you could rally with insane courage.  I actually rolled a two on the last turn, right before they fled off the board.  Ha!

So since Greg was new we decided that we would resolve the charges one by one.  When I say resolve, I mean declare charge, then reaction, and then move charge. 

Really? 

Whatever. 

Apparently no one has ever brought night goblins to the party before.  So the first up was a unit of 5 dragon prices.  The fanatics vaporized them.  Ha! Then a small unit of what I had though were spearmen charged the same unit since the dragon princes didn’t make.  Oh those aren’t spearmen, they’re swordmasters?  Yes I know the -1 strength from the nets doesn’t make a difference, but they’re netted anyway.  So, 17 attacks and 13 dead night goblins later NOW I fear high elves. Given the spears and the hoard special rule and getting charged I still got to roll lots of dice and managed to kill four of them.  Yeah me!  While this happened the pump wagon got charged by a unit of spearmen.  In light of the new charge rules I had left the wagon at 12 inches.  Not quite far enough.

On our next turn my “ally” failed both his restraint roles and his frenzied knights and a frenzied warrior unit had to charge the phoenix guard.  The warriors failed so the knights got to go it alone.  The fanatic that killed the dragon princes managed to roll double ones and killed himself.  The other one came back right through the night goblin/swordmaster melee.  Good boy!  Killed three night goblins and one swordmaster.  In the ensuing hand to hand phase he killed another 10 night goblins. My return strike killed 2 more, the Felch came up to bat.  I gave him a great weapon, and in a fit of rage he single handedly killed the musician, standard bearer and the champion.  Unit destroyed!  Lots of stunned looks.  I peeked to see how the knight had faired.  They had been vaporized by the phoenix guard with special character.  Looks like the knights at least managed to kill a few of the phoenix guard.

The phoenix guard then vaporized one of the chaos warriors units, I think they were chosen cause they managed to kill a bunch of them in return.  The block of spearmen that destroyed the pump wagon failed a change and left their flank in charge arc of what was left of the night goblins. 

So my night goblins charged the side of the spearmen.  I won combat; he needed a 4 to pass his break test, which he did, but only with the help of a reroll.  The night goblins then took a charge in the rear from a great eagle.  I still won combat, but not by much and no one ran.

In the end I lost two blot throwers, the pump wagon, and the standard from the wolf riders.  We lost though because the phoenix guard essentially wiped out the chaos army by themselves.

I get 100 extra points for next week…

The Poetry of Work

A Renga is a type of Japanese collaborative poetry.  I have a vague recollection during my schooling of writing an Americanized version of a Renga.  What I remember doing was really alternating accretive poetry.  We would work in pairs mostly, sometimes more.  One person would write a stanza, then pass it to the next person who would fixate on one word in the stanza and use it as the basis. 

I’ve always loved non-sequiturs.  And to me a Renga is really just an excuse.  From work today:

The public notice for [Them], has expired. No comments were received. I am routing this for issuance approval.

What if anything do I need to at this point?

Nothing, just an FYI/status update. J Had there been comments, then you would have an action.

I’m really, really, trying to not make a joke about “getting action” at work.  Oops, I made the joke anyway…

LOL!!

Zombie Frog Strangler

Yes it’s time for more scouts camping!!

This time it was the spring camporee and this year’s theme was Zombies!  The older scouts that served as camp staff were all dressed up like Zombies, and they tried to take some standard scout activities and zombify them.   I thought they were successful, in an Evil Dead, Bruce Campbell, Cheesy Movie sort of way. 

While the camporee stations themselves weren’t terribly memorable; like the run from the zombie with your injured buddy relay race below

One of the biggest problems I’ve run into at these events is that the old scouts that plan the events have a hard time judging how long their activities will really take.  They leave an hour, but it only takes 25 minutes.  What do you do with the extra time? One of the thing I really liked is that most stations has a secondary activity to do while you wait, or after you were done

The real challenge to this camp out though wasn’t the Zombies, but the weather.  This was as nice as it got:

After the Saturday events, and thankfully after dinner, we had a frog strangler.  As out scoutmaster put it we only had a quarter inch of rain, under the rainfly.  It poured.  The Tornado sirens when off. We discussed emergency plans.  For some reason the kids decided that if they saw a tornado, they were going to hide in the latrine nearby because it was the only permanent structure nearby.  Really?  I told them that if I saw a tornado I was going to hide in the ditch across the road, not in a building that would just be shrapnel if a tornado hit it.  I told them the only reason I’d hide in there was if it started to hail, which thankfully it didn’t.

Every tent leaked to some extent.  The ones that leaked the least were the ones that had a rainfly that went all the way to the ground.  Mine didn’t, but lucky my sleeping bag, while damp, we still dry inside.  One of the other tents got so wet inside that the occupants ended up sleeping in a car.

On a couple of side notes;

I got to see a stunning display of anal retentive synergy – no I’m not going to say more.

I also realized that my hairline has crept back far enough that if I’m not more careful I’ll have a burnt forehead this summer.

Going Home

They were wrong. 

If you had told me this morning when I got out of bed that I would get a chance to apologize to someone for the way I treated them, which was really, really, badly, over 20 year ago I would have looked at you like you were smoking Crack.  But I did, and while I wouldn’t say that forgiveness was part of the conversations; acceptance and understanding of how what happened, happened, is enough for me.

Sometimes you can go home.

Hypocritical Horror

The fact that anyone is surprised about what has happened at Penn State simply amazes me.  Somehow the spirit of “Animal House” and the anonymity of Las Vegas have been ingrained into the concept of higher education in America.   

 

Mixing a few natural predators, with too much alcohol, and an attitude of “What happens in College stays in College” is a recipe for sexual assault.

Why do you think Colleges and Universities have their own “Police Forces”? 

It all comes down to money enrollment.

The institution of higher learning needs to keep students' parent's paying students, and the City’s that host them want the students to spend their money off campus.  The effect is that campus crimes are virtually never reported, because it’s bad for business.

I was a Resident Assistant at college one year.  One of the rooms on my floor attracted pot smokers every weekend.  The boys are couple of rooms down were good old fashioned bible thumpers and couldn’t stand it when the hallway “smells like that Mary-jew-wana”.  I tried talked with the smokers; told them to point a fan out the window so the smell wouldn't ooze into the hall. 

The final straw.  One day the smokers put the fan in backwards.  Blew all the smoke into the hallway.  So what did the Thumpers do?  They called the city cops.  When the real police showed up at the front desk you would have thought IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD.

The only Horror here is everyone’s hypocritical “How could this have happened?”

Randomness, IV

Professional Egoist

An acquaintance once told me that is an alternative expansion of the acronym PE that normally stands for Professional Engineer. 

I though to myself “Ha, ha”.

I will admit I have seen some of the PEs I know treat “non-technical” people in a manner that I think is condescending, but I never seen them do it to other “technical” people.

Until I got my PE.

Apparently they saved their bad behavior until I was a member of the club.  In the last few months I’ve actually heard things like:

“Don’t talk with her, work with her boss.  He’s an engineer.”

And;

“No I don’t want to give that work to her, she’s not a PE”.

Really?

I know engineers don’t have the best reputations as people persons, but,

Really?

If I ever say anything like that I sure hope someone calls me on it…

Endings

So last summer I attended my 20 year high school reunion.  High school was a good time for me.  I enjoyed it immensely at the time, and in retrospect feel truly lucky.

I talked with people I hadn’t during high school and found out that we had much in common.  I talked with people I disliked in high school and found that I still didn’t care for them.  I saw people I kept in touch with, and some I hadn’t.

There was one person there that I hadn’t kept in touch with, but wish I had.  It was so good to see her.  I only got to talk with her for a few minutes, but I was hopeful that we would be able to stay in touch going forward.

A couple of months later I found out she had committed suicide.

What?

I have to admit that it still distresses me if I dwell on it.

I mentioned to a co-worker whose opinion I value later that week.  I said that I wish I knew why.  I was told that “Even if you knew you couldn’t have done anything about it.” 

My first reaction was to deny that I would have tried to “talk her out of it”, but to be honest with myself, had I known she was thinking that way, I’m sure I would have tried to help.

I’ve been told that sometimes suicide isn’t always about things bad, but that sometimes a person looks around and thinks “This is it?  There’s nothing more?”

A few years ago I went for breakfast at IHOP with my grandfather.  At the time my mom was sick, and I was going to drive him out to see her.  Grandpa was a bout 90 at the time, and Grandma had been gone for a few years already.  Over breakfast we had a real conversation about, life, in general.  He commented that he hadn’t thought he would outlive any of his children, and that he had days when he felt like Methuselah. 

Just a couple of months later the got pneumonia and was gone three days later.

He certainly didn’t commit suicide, but I think he looked around and thought; “This is it?  There’s nothing more?”, and sort of gave up.

There are times when I miss him, miss both of them, but instead of remembering the end I think I’ll choose to remember the other times, and be happy for them in that they got to go on their own terms.

#12

Family Outdoor Adventure

One of these days I’ll get to do something on the weekend for myself but until then; more scouts.  This time it was Bear Cub requirement number 12, Family Outdoor Adventure. 

We went to Powder Valley Nature Center

And hiked.

We let Jacob plan the day – specifically by picking the picnic lunch menu.

Dill Pickles, Strawberries, and PB&J sandwiches.

Cowhand

So, the last time I was on a horse was when I was five.  Why so long you ask?  Getting thrown would have been one thing.  Getting your foot caught in the stirrup and dangling upside down while your horse runs in circles is another thing all together.  “Thankfully” I was too short to drag on the ground.  Had we shown up, gotten on the horse and gone for a trail ride I would have been fine, but that’s not the way it happened.  We got there, and they assigned us horses, we had is brush them, get their saddles on (the professionals did the bits), and get helmets.  I was ready to crap my pants by the time we actually got on them, but I digress.  This is really about camping with boy scouts!

So we pulled into our camp sit at dusk on Friday, and we didn’t get our Quesadilla dinner until after dark.  No big deal, the moon was spectacularly bright.

We couldn’t really have had better weather; lows in the mid 50s, and highs in the low 80s.  The only thing missing was my jacket.  The following morning started at sunup (630am) because the boys wanted Bacon, Eggs, and Pancakes for breakfast.  We had to be at the stable at 9am for horseback riding.  We were only five minutes late. 

As an aside; I hate it when the boys want pancakes.  They are nothing but slow, messy carbohydrates.

The trail ride was as expected.

I think my horse, Cowhand, was pissed off about having to carry the fat guy.  Repeatedly I got rubbed against trees, and taken through the tall grass.  I love Chiggers, really; especially when they’re all over my legs.  The ride lasted a little over and hour and everyone survived.

Lunch was sandwiches, and we set up dinner to cook in the sun.

We had two solar cookers.  The professionally built one got up to 350 degrees and had three pounds of ground beef, diced onions, and chili seasoning in it.  The other one was made by the scouts at a previous troop meeting out of cardboard, duct tape, and tinfoil.  I don’t know how hot it got, but it did do an adequate job of warming up the beans.  We heated the beans up in a black tin that came with another solar cooker the Scoutmaster didn’t bring along on this trip, but he did tell me that the manufacturer claimed that; “Food cooked with photons tastes better!”

While dinner was cooking we took a hike down the creek and let the boys, be boys.

All told we spent until dinner, about 4 hours, playing in the creek.  The total walk was between two and three miles. 

SNAKE!

I asked the boys what kind it was.  They didn’t know, but wanted to pick it up anyway.  So after I said no, several times, we talked about the fact the baby poisonous snakes can be more dangerous than the adults because they don’t withhold any venom.  I have no idea if its true, but I didn’t want them to pick it up, and one lie was as good as another at that point.

Dinner was quick and easy.  Chili and the leftover cheese from the quesadillas; since we used the solar cookers there was no cooking fire to deal with.  Dinner took about 30 minutes from start to finish.  Breakfast must have taken 2 full hours.  Yeah for solar cookers!

So at seven o’clock I was ready to pass out.  I actually went into my tent and laid down for 15-20 minutes before the bonfire.

That night based on the Scoutmaster’s suggestion the bonfire was lit at the top, instead of the bottom.  What I fabulous idea!  I do that all the time when I use my smoker at home, why it never crossed my mind to do for a bonfire escapes me.  Anyway our bonfire lasted a good hour and a half.  It wasn’t as big as a typical bonfire, but it gave us a steadier amount of heat and light.  It also burned virtually smoke free.  I assume because the wood got dried out properly as the fire burned its way down.

So at nine that night a strange thing happened.  Two of the boys got up, and decided that it was time to go to bed.  They were so tired they were falling asleep sitting up watching the bonfire.  30 minutes later we put the remains of the bonfire out, and all went to bed. 

The boys all slept until 730 on Sunday morning.

Fat Raccoons

Last weekend I got to go camping with the cub scouts!  I once called camping with the boy scouts total chaos.  If that’s true then camping with the cub scouts is ultimate chaos.  The amount of uncontrolled energy is staggering. 

I honestly don’t know how the cub scout den leaders do it.  I really don’t.  Just one night with a large group of sugar fueled, up past bedtime, out in the woods kids make me want to run away to some quiet place and practice Buddhist meditation. 

I let Jacob run while I set up the tent.  He got to play, I got to work.  Part of me wants to make it hard for him so he doesn’t want to go on to boy scouts, but I’m not that selfish.  Yet.  Dinner was hot dogs that were amazingly un-burnt. Chips, chips, cookies, and watermelon.

I’ve always had a hard time keeping track of Jacob after it gets dark.  I know I should trust him more, but it’s hard sometimes.  In any case I got him glow sticks, and that made it easy to keep tabs on him, so that is going to get added to the list standard equipment when I’m camping with him.  He finally ran out of energy at 1030. 

Did I mention that it was cold?  I checked the weather on my cell phone, at bedtime it was 39 degrees.  Once I got him into his sleeping bag and he warmed up he was out like a light.  I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night, with Jacob partially laying on me.  Ugh.

The morning plan was to get up pack and leave.  Breakfast was on your own.  The Raccoons that visit cub world in the night at Beaumont must be the best fed animals in the world.  Cub scouts seem to drop as much food as they eat.  In the morning I checked out the picnic table we had used for dinner the night before, and there was food still just sitting out.  None of it appeared to have been disturbed; so either it was too cold to the raccoons to come out, or they were so full that they just weren’t hungry.

In either case us people were hungry, so we stopped at IHOP on the way home… 

Art

I like art.  I especially like art that’s profane.  I just want something that elicits strong feelings.

So here are some of the things I’ve found that, well, fit the bill.

So, is everyone offended now?

Breakfast

Jacob’s milk, hash browns, and scrambled eggs - $1.50

My milk, hash browns, and scrambled eggs - $1.50

Sitting at the kids table in the cafeteria to eat - Free

Jacob’s excitement over buying me breakfast - Priceless. 

Irrational Wolf Spiders

Why yes, we went camping; again.  This time it was just going to be the Alpacas, the older boys were off with the Scoutmaster doing an Order of the Arrow thing. 

So, in planning, the other assistant scoutmaster and I decided to up the food budget from $1.25 per person per meal from the Braised Boy Scout trip to $2.00!  We figured we would eat like kings!  So, thanks to email firewalls, enough food was bought for all six of us.  Why am I thanking an email firewall?  Well that would be because the other guy never got the email that confirmed that there would in fact be nine of us there, not six. Which turned out to be $1.33 per person per meal, well at least it was cooler even if we didn’t get to eat like kings. 

Also this time we didn’t need tents as we rented a shelter at one the county parks.  I had been led to believe from the descriptions that it was a shelter that had multiple walls and would be semi-bug proof.  Reality was a little different.

But that was OK, I had my tent, just in case, and our bug-a-phobe had one too.  As it turned out though the one he brought had a broken poll, so I got mine out instead.

During our gourmet lunch of creamy peanut butter and squeezable grape jelly on white bread (and chips) we had visitors.

It was a wonderful tradeoff, we made sure their lunch fire went out, and the boys got to interact with the horses.  They were told how to approach a horse and the proper way to act around them, and what was ok when touching them.

Little did I know at the time that in October the plan includes Horseback riding, but I get ahead of myself.

After lunch we went for a hike and started working on some of their requirements. Many plants and animals (or signs of animals, aka horse poo) were seen, and many fun things were done.

Yes that’s my hand, and yes I put it there intentionally.  The skyline was bright enough that it was messing up the picture.  Hey, what do you expect?  It’s a 1.3 Megapixel camera on my cell phone.

As we were walking back to our “campsite” I got to have an interesting conversation with a couple of the boys about what we choose to remember.  Since it was almost 9/11 remembering was on my mind anyway.  I was talking with them about what I remembered from when I was in college.  No, not about the class work specifically, but about the most vivid memories.  I pointed out to them that I had a good time in college, but the specific instances that I remembered most were the bad ones.  Like when one of my professors called me a “stupid American peasant.”  I pointed out to the boys that they get to choose how and what they remember.  The two that were listening are the only two in the group that would actually hear what I was saying.  They honestly looked thoughtful instead of just rolling their eyes the way mine would have.

Nazrat (Tarzan spelled backwards – Something my dad always said: why THAT stuck, I’ll never know), would have been proud.

After the walk we had 7-11 year olds, out enjoying nature, with nothing to do.  Nothing bad could even come of that. Right? The post walk, pre-dinner down time was memorable too.

So first, one of the boys made an absolutely absurd claim which the other boys couldn’t leave alone.  The ensuing argument probably lasted 30 minutes, all of which were painful, but we’re supposed to let them work that stuff out.  I did think during the argument, that instead of calling them the Spitting Alpacas, that Braying Jackasses might be more appropriate.

The other was more typical.  One of the boys was standing there talking, turned to run, caught his foot on a picnic table, and belly flopped on the concrete.  Our troop has several adults that are trained medical personnel in real life.  Luckily none of them were there.  Dr. Steve to the rescue!  The Belly Flopper has a skinned knee, and a sore arm.  I got a couple of the boys to do the first aid on the knee while I checked out his arm (it landed under his body when he fell).  He had full range of motion in the arm, and forearm without any pain, and I squeezed lightly near the elbow and it didn’t hurt.  I told his parents what happened and suggested that they may want to call their pediatrician to make sure.

Dinner was Beef Stew, French bread, and monkey bread; all right from the good nasty at the top of the food pyramid.  What else did you expect for what we spent?

So, as the sun set and we enjoyed our campfire the bugs started to come out.  Specifically Walking Sticks and Wolf Spiders.  At first it wasn’t so bad, but once it was fully dark, then the fun began.  I let our resident bug-a-phobe use my tent.  So my sleeping bag, and air mattress where laying one the ground, in the open.  After I had caught the Walking Stick, on my face I decided that I ought to check my bed.  Low and behold there was a gigantic wolf spider, on my pillow.

One of the boys tried to kill it, and missed.

At which time the bug-a-phobe completely lost it.  I’m not going to get into details of the next couple of hours other than to say we ended up having someone come and get him.  He never would have fallen asleep.  Once we told him he was going home he calmed down immediately, so at least I know we made the right choice for him. 

In the Boy Scouts’ adult leader training they said: “Boy Scouts is FUN, with U in the middle”, and he wasn’t having fun at that point.  From what I was told the next day all he talked about on the way home was how much fun he had that day. 

Ultimately I think the bug-a-phobe’s "moment" is going to be a good learning experience for everyone involved.  For him in knowing that he can trust us to help him, for the Boys in compassion (there wasn't any "grow-up" or "shut-up" or other mean spirited stuff), and for the Troop as it seems to me that the way we've been doing things is "because that's the way we've always done it."  The bug-a-phobe’ isn't going to fit into the standard "box" that the Troop is used to; he is a good kid and I would hate to lose him over camping. I think that we can accommodate him and all be better for it.

I got to thinking: What exactly are the camping requirements of boy scouts?

I've been looking in the Boy Scout book, and as far as I can it is only 20 nights camping, he has managed four nights already.  20 nights is needed for the Camping Merit Badge which an Eagle requirement.  I think if we choose his campouts carefully, we can get him there.

What do I mean by "choose his campouts carefully" - again, I've looked, and camping doesn't have to be like it was at the shelter.  It can include "cabin camping" which might work; also we could make him the King of Cold Weather.  Maybe he could do the cold weather stuff when the bugs aren't out.  Doesn't mean he won't fixate on something else, but it's worth a try.

On Sunday, while the pancakes were lollygagging on the griddle we talked shortly about "irrational fears", and that sometimes things get in your head and you just can't keep them out. We were running a little late getting home, but it was a good time.