Going Home

They were wrong. 

If you had told me this morning when I got out of bed that I would get a chance to apologize to someone for the way I treated them, which was really, really, badly, over 20 year ago I would have looked at you like you were smoking Crack.  But I did, and while I wouldn’t say that forgiveness was part of the conversations; acceptance and understanding of how what happened, happened, is enough for me.

Sometimes you can go home.

Hypocritical Horror

The fact that anyone is surprised about what has happened at Penn State simply amazes me.  Somehow the spirit of “Animal House” and the anonymity of Las Vegas have been ingrained into the concept of higher education in America.   

 

Mixing a few natural predators, with too much alcohol, and an attitude of “What happens in College stays in College” is a recipe for sexual assault.

Why do you think Colleges and Universities have their own “Police Forces”? 

It all comes down to money enrollment.

The institution of higher learning needs to keep students' parent's paying students, and the City’s that host them want the students to spend their money off campus.  The effect is that campus crimes are virtually never reported, because it’s bad for business.

I was a Resident Assistant at college one year.  One of the rooms on my floor attracted pot smokers every weekend.  The boys are couple of rooms down were good old fashioned bible thumpers and couldn’t stand it when the hallway “smells like that Mary-jew-wana”.  I tried talked with the smokers; told them to point a fan out the window so the smell wouldn't ooze into the hall. 

The final straw.  One day the smokers put the fan in backwards.  Blew all the smoke into the hallway.  So what did the Thumpers do?  They called the city cops.  When the real police showed up at the front desk you would have thought IT WAS THE END OF THE WORLD.

The only Horror here is everyone’s hypocritical “How could this have happened?”

Randomness, IV

Professional Egoist

An acquaintance once told me that is an alternative expansion of the acronym PE that normally stands for Professional Engineer. 

I though to myself “Ha, ha”.

I will admit I have seen some of the PEs I know treat “non-technical” people in a manner that I think is condescending, but I never seen them do it to other “technical” people.

Until I got my PE.

Apparently they saved their bad behavior until I was a member of the club.  In the last few months I’ve actually heard things like:

“Don’t talk with her, work with her boss.  He’s an engineer.”

And;

“No I don’t want to give that work to her, she’s not a PE”.

Really?

I know engineers don’t have the best reputations as people persons, but,

Really?

If I ever say anything like that I sure hope someone calls me on it…

Endings

So last summer I attended my 20 year high school reunion.  High school was a good time for me.  I enjoyed it immensely at the time, and in retrospect feel truly lucky.

I talked with people I hadn’t during high school and found out that we had much in common.  I talked with people I disliked in high school and found that I still didn’t care for them.  I saw people I kept in touch with, and some I hadn’t.

There was one person there that I hadn’t kept in touch with, but wish I had.  It was so good to see her.  I only got to talk with her for a few minutes, but I was hopeful that we would be able to stay in touch going forward.

A couple of months later I found out she had committed suicide.

What?

I have to admit that it still distresses me if I dwell on it.

I mentioned to a co-worker whose opinion I value later that week.  I said that I wish I knew why.  I was told that “Even if you knew you couldn’t have done anything about it.” 

My first reaction was to deny that I would have tried to “talk her out of it”, but to be honest with myself, had I known she was thinking that way, I’m sure I would have tried to help.

I’ve been told that sometimes suicide isn’t always about things bad, but that sometimes a person looks around and thinks “This is it?  There’s nothing more?”

A few years ago I went for breakfast at IHOP with my grandfather.  At the time my mom was sick, and I was going to drive him out to see her.  Grandpa was a bout 90 at the time, and Grandma had been gone for a few years already.  Over breakfast we had a real conversation about, life, in general.  He commented that he hadn’t thought he would outlive any of his children, and that he had days when he felt like Methuselah. 

Just a couple of months later the got pneumonia and was gone three days later.

He certainly didn’t commit suicide, but I think he looked around and thought; “This is it?  There’s nothing more?”, and sort of gave up.

There are times when I miss him, miss both of them, but instead of remembering the end I think I’ll choose to remember the other times, and be happy for them in that they got to go on their own terms.

#12

Family Outdoor Adventure

One of these days I’ll get to do something on the weekend for myself but until then; more scouts.  This time it was Bear Cub requirement number 12, Family Outdoor Adventure. 

We went to Powder Valley Nature Center

And hiked.

We let Jacob plan the day – specifically by picking the picnic lunch menu.

Dill Pickles, Strawberries, and PB&J sandwiches.

Cowhand

So, the last time I was on a horse was when I was five.  Why so long you ask?  Getting thrown would have been one thing.  Getting your foot caught in the stirrup and dangling upside down while your horse runs in circles is another thing all together.  “Thankfully” I was too short to drag on the ground.  Had we shown up, gotten on the horse and gone for a trail ride I would have been fine, but that’s not the way it happened.  We got there, and they assigned us horses, we had is brush them, get their saddles on (the professionals did the bits), and get helmets.  I was ready to crap my pants by the time we actually got on them, but I digress.  This is really about camping with boy scouts!

So we pulled into our camp sit at dusk on Friday, and we didn’t get our Quesadilla dinner until after dark.  No big deal, the moon was spectacularly bright.

We couldn’t really have had better weather; lows in the mid 50s, and highs in the low 80s.  The only thing missing was my jacket.  The following morning started at sunup (630am) because the boys wanted Bacon, Eggs, and Pancakes for breakfast.  We had to be at the stable at 9am for horseback riding.  We were only five minutes late. 

As an aside; I hate it when the boys want pancakes.  They are nothing but slow, messy carbohydrates.

The trail ride was as expected.

I think my horse, Cowhand, was pissed off about having to carry the fat guy.  Repeatedly I got rubbed against trees, and taken through the tall grass.  I love Chiggers, really; especially when they’re all over my legs.  The ride lasted a little over and hour and everyone survived.

Lunch was sandwiches, and we set up dinner to cook in the sun.

We had two solar cookers.  The professionally built one got up to 350 degrees and had three pounds of ground beef, diced onions, and chili seasoning in it.  The other one was made by the scouts at a previous troop meeting out of cardboard, duct tape, and tinfoil.  I don’t know how hot it got, but it did do an adequate job of warming up the beans.  We heated the beans up in a black tin that came with another solar cooker the Scoutmaster didn’t bring along on this trip, but he did tell me that the manufacturer claimed that; “Food cooked with photons tastes better!”

While dinner was cooking we took a hike down the creek and let the boys, be boys.

All told we spent until dinner, about 4 hours, playing in the creek.  The total walk was between two and three miles. 

SNAKE!

I asked the boys what kind it was.  They didn’t know, but wanted to pick it up anyway.  So after I said no, several times, we talked about the fact the baby poisonous snakes can be more dangerous than the adults because they don’t withhold any venom.  I have no idea if its true, but I didn’t want them to pick it up, and one lie was as good as another at that point.

Dinner was quick and easy.  Chili and the leftover cheese from the quesadillas; since we used the solar cookers there was no cooking fire to deal with.  Dinner took about 30 minutes from start to finish.  Breakfast must have taken 2 full hours.  Yeah for solar cookers!

So at seven o’clock I was ready to pass out.  I actually went into my tent and laid down for 15-20 minutes before the bonfire.

That night based on the Scoutmaster’s suggestion the bonfire was lit at the top, instead of the bottom.  What I fabulous idea!  I do that all the time when I use my smoker at home, why it never crossed my mind to do for a bonfire escapes me.  Anyway our bonfire lasted a good hour and a half.  It wasn’t as big as a typical bonfire, but it gave us a steadier amount of heat and light.  It also burned virtually smoke free.  I assume because the wood got dried out properly as the fire burned its way down.

So at nine that night a strange thing happened.  Two of the boys got up, and decided that it was time to go to bed.  They were so tired they were falling asleep sitting up watching the bonfire.  30 minutes later we put the remains of the bonfire out, and all went to bed. 

The boys all slept until 730 on Sunday morning.